Deadly Doors

When I was younger, I used to have a cat named George.  George was the best cat a girl could ask for.  All of his fur was a dark gray color except for the tip of his tail which was white.  George would   cuddle up on your lap on cold days and lick your fingers after you had been eating cheetos.  I remember the day that my mom accidentally shut George in one of our garage doors was one of the worst days of my life.  George started to meow frantically as one of the two huge garage doors came slowly down on him and my mom in a panic was trying to put the code back in the padlock.  I was screaming.  Luckily, the huge garage doors both came up and George shot out from underneath them like a bullet.  I was so upset.  I could not believe that my dear cat George had almost died via garage doors.  There was another time when my dog, Lucy had a close call the with garage doors as well.  He little tail got stuck she was not a happy camper.  From now on, I'm going to make it a priority to ensure that my pets don't get stuck in the garage door. 

I would be really bad if...

The other day, my roommate and I were brainstorming what the worst situations would be to have your air conditioning stop working.  I thought we came up with a pretty good list.  I think it would be terrible to have the air conditioning go out when you are having an ice sculpting party.  It would be really bad to lose your air conditioning when your visiting cousin who is eight months pregnant go into labor.  It would be really bad to lose your air conditioning when the temperature outside is hotter than the record high in Sacramento.  It would be really bad to lose your air conditioning when all of your summer clothes are in the washer.  It would be really unfortunate to lose it just before the start of your dance party with the football players in the apartment next door.  It would also be terrible to lose it as soon as you realize you have a fever of 105.  All in all, there are plenty of situations that really require air conditioning in order to be pleasant.  It makes me grateful for my air conditioner despite its faulty cool button that actually turns the heater on.  I think things could be worse.

A perfect evening

My cousin recently got married in Salt Lake City.  She had a perfect garden wedding reception in Utah and then later had a reception in her home town in Tennessee.  Her dress was beautiful.   Simple and elegant.  I attended their garden wedding.  They had looked at a bunch of different wedding venues and decided that they wanted their reception to be outside.  It was a perfect evening with perfect weather.  There was a live band and a lot of lamps strung up over the reception area.  The food was simple and delicious.  I cannot imagine a more perfect wedding.  On one table, there were pictures of when they were dating.  On another table, there were pictures of the two of them when they were kids. It made me want to have a garden wedding. The only thing that worries me is that you have to have just the right weather or else the evening is ruined.  Sometimes it's better to play is safe and have the reception inside than the try and plan a garden wedding, only to have to move it inside when the first raindrop falls.  I am glad that my cousin was lucky enough to get perfect weather for her perfect day.

Poor Plumbing

For the past four days,  I have been on the lemonade diet.  Call me crazy. Everyone else has.  But it has been unexpectedly refreshing to be liberated from the burden of food.  I'm getting all of my amino acids covered, I promise.  I'm not starving myself.  But I am free from cravings and it feels good, despite the fact that my internal plumbing is a little messed up.  When I moved from Evansville, I was determined to start eating right.  Eating fatty foods makes you sluggish and messes with your plumbing.  Quite frankly, it makes you sick.  Going on this lemonade diet has given me more energy and enabled me to lose a few pounds.  The hardest part of the diet is drinking the salt water.  That is really hard on your internal plumbing.  It makes me sick every time I have to do it but I know in the long run that it will be worth it.  I hope.  I think.  It's been hard and even when I think my cravings are gone, all of a sudden I feel like if I don't eat a piece of pizza, I will die.  The plumbing issues have been tough to deal with as well.  But I'm waiting patiently to reap the rewards. 

I have enough crap.

My parents recently moved from Atlanta to Utah.  In the process they rented some storage units in Provo to avoid having to house hunt with all of their stuff hitched to a truck behind them.  I went to this storage unit the other day to grab some of my winter sweaters and I was amazed by the immensity of crap that people bother and even pay to store.  I think that the majority of society needs to learn how to say, "I have enough crap."  People these days are obsessed with getting the biggest and the best only to pay to keep it in a storage unit when the newer model comes out.  Did you know that the storage unit industry makes more money than the entertainment business as a whole?  It's kind of disgusting when you think about it.  I don't think that personal satisfaction can come until a person comes to terms with himself and truly realizes that he more is not always better, sometimes it's just more.  There is a renewed feeling of freedom and jubilee when you realize that you already have everything you need to be happy. Ditch the storage units and start living.   

Summer Days

We have a lot of problems with my air conditioning in my condo in Sacramento.  Our condo has two stories and it is really difficult to cool the first story and the second story evenly.  It's a problem because my roommates on the first floor are always complaining that the air conditioning is making it way too cold downstairs.  They are always turning it off.  Meanwhile, we are boiling upstairs on 90 degree days in the middle of July.  It is really frustrating and we are not sure what to do.  We have complained to management several times but it is really difficult for them to do anything because there is not anything wrong with the air conditioning.  It is more a problem with the layout of the condo.  The roommates downstairs get really frustrated because they are paying to have the air conditioning running when they do not need it.  We always get frustrated because it is impossible to try and get ready to go somewhere and look nice when you are already dripping in sweat the second you step out of the showing.  At this point, we aren't sure what we are going to do.  But we will have to figure out something pretty soon.

Cash Advances

Getting a cash advance in Nevada is not a difficult task.  But one really needs to be careful with it.  When it comes to borrowing money, I have realized that people always seem to dig themselves into a bigger hole.  But don't get me wrong, cash advances can have their advantages.  Using them to pay an overdue bill can definitely get you out of hot water.  In the movies, quick cash places are always portrayed as sleezy, grungy places with a greasy haired transaction manager.  While this is the stereotype, this is not usually the case.  There are often perfectly legitimate reason to get a cash advance, and there are plenty of reliable places that will do exactly what they promise to do with any hidden fees.  A cash advance can save you from getting your water or electricity shut off in the middle of the coldest month of the year.  It can save you from having to pay a late fee for not paying your rent on time.  When trying to get a cash advance, just make sure that you have proof of a steady income and are willing to pay back everything that you owe as soon as you are able. 

Critters

My dad has never been one to call pest control when needed.  He was always more focused on playing with the little creatures than letting pest control get rid of them.  When I was a kid I hated staying in bed.  I remember one night wandering downstairs to find my dad crouched next to the fireplace, looking up the chimney.  Thoroughly confused I walked in and started to ask what I was doing.  My dad held a finger to his mouth and motioned for me to come look.  He took a piece of bread and held it up in the chimney.  I saw a set of little claws reach down and take piece of bread.  I looked up right into the eyes of a huge raccoon.  My mom was just shaking her head and telling my dad that he should be calling a pest control instead of feeding them.  But pest control was the last thing on my dad's mind.  The little creatures always fascinated him.  He took me under the house the next day to show me a nest full of baby raccoons that he had found.  At the time I did not realize what a horrible idea that was.  The mean mommy raccoon was probably nearby.  All in all I love my dad for his sweet heart, but sometimes he goes a little far. 

Locked Out

When I was in high school, I used to take a couple of my friends home everyday after school.  We would always go out to eat or hang out in the park before slowly making our way home to do our homework.  I remember one day we got back to Caitlin's house and she found that she was locked out. The rest of her family was out of town.  Instead of calling a locksmith like a normal person would do we decided that we would play the role of "locksmith."  We discovered that one of the window panes on the back door was loose.  My friend Chris tried to reach through the pane and get to the lock but had no luck.  He ended up cutting his hand.  At this point, Caitlin was all in favor of calling a locksmith, but I had one more idea.  I noticed that one of the windows on the second floor was open.  Using my agility and tremendous strength, I hoisted myself up onto the porch and climbed onto the roof.  I fell off the roof into the bushes, ending up with a sprained wrist.  Next time, we called the locksmith.   

I hate it when...

I hate that feeling you get when in the moment you close the door of your car you realize that your keys are sitting on the driver's seat.  Nothing makes me kick myself more.  I hate the all-too-familiar feeling of trying to get a hold of a locksmith and knowing that you are going to have to wait for the next 45 minutes to an hour before you can get going towards your original destination.  What is worse is being on the phone with the locksmith, while every who rode with you is rolling their eyes because this is the exact same thing that happened last week.  It's particularly embarrassing when you are with a potential significant other and your scatterbrained tendencies are on full display.  I also hate it when the locksmith finds the exact street in Minneapolis that you are on and he gets out and you realize that it's the same guy that helped you out last time.  It is just embarrassing but I never seem to get better about remembering my keys.  The last locksmith that came to my rescue recommended that keep a spare on the underside of my car.  Maybe I will try that. 

Making your Business Better

You know on You've Got Mail, where they pan the streets of New York City and you can see all of the awnings with the business names on them?  In a huge city, an awning can really make your business stand out and make your name more memorable.  You could be in New York City or Lincoln, Nebraska, I think have an awning outside of the entrance of your business makes it stand out a great deal more. It improves the entrance of you business for one.  Now you have a professional entrance with your name of it instead of just a dirty trash can and some dead plants.  I think awnings can be used to dress up any area or occasions.  I have often noticed that at garden weddings, awnings are used to designate the entrance area.  The awning is often decorated in floral arrangements or ribbons or something of the sort.  Not only do awnings make your place look better, they also add a place for shade on particularly hot days.  If you need a breather you can get it standing underneath your beautifully placed awning.  When it comes to making your business better, I don't think you can go wrong with an awning. 

You do what???

When I was fifteen, I used to babysit for a crazy family.  Seriously, they were crazy.  I remember one night I went over there and the mother was showing me what to do for the evening.  She told me that they had a new routine for getting their toddler to bed.  She took me in to show me the baby toddler bed.  She then showed me a rope that was attached to the side of the crib. With a huge smile on her face she told me that they had started tying their son to his baby toddler crib.  I was shocked and quite appalled.  There are so many other options and tying the little boy to his baby toddler crib was definitely not the solution.  I think what they needed was to be patiently teaching their son the importance of staying in bed.  They are a number of different options available to achieve this.  They could start getting him ready for bed earlier so that he is calm when they try to put him to bed.  Or they could spend more time with him in the room while he is in his crib.  They should not use the crib as a way of punishing a child.  These are just a few alternatives that should have been used. 

Close Call

My roommate knows nothing about auto repair. But lucky for her, she always finds a way out of sticky situations.  The other day, she was driving up the interstate to Spokane on her way to work.  She was running late and was in a big hurry.  She was driving over the speed limit when she decided to switch lanes.  She ended up behind a very slow moving truck.  Lucky for her, she had slowed down a great deal when her tire blew out.  She regained control of her vehicle and pulled over.  Never having a day of auto repair training in her life, she was not sure what to do.  She pulled out her phone to call her brother only to realize that her phone was dead.  Dang.  She started her way walking down the off ramp to find a phone.  When she called her brother and told him that she needed him to change her tire, he told her that it was time for her to learn a little bit about auto repair.  He came and taught her how to change her tire.  My roommate is now pretty much an auto repair expert.  She can change her own tire.

Sibling Pest Control

I live in Des Moines, Iowa with my parents and four younger sisters.  We have a lot of annoying critters in Iowa, like skunks and opossums and sometimes you need to call a pest control company to contain them.  What I don't understand is why no one has thought to create a pest control team for little sisters.  I can't think of anything more pestering.  Little sisters steal you clothes, whine a lot, read your diary, and always want in on your way cool activities like playing kick the can.  I think that someone could make a lot of money by starting a pest control team that focused solely on younger siblings.  Instead of pesticides, they could use duct tape.  This is a company that I would for sure keep on speed dial.  They could also follow you to the movies and on dates to make sure that little sisters do not pursued.  I think that it's a fantastic idea.  I am not in any way insinuating that this pest control company should harm these youngsters in any way whatsoever.  Just make them disappear from time to time when you and your friends could most use some peace and quiet. 

Financially Responible???

Yesterday, my father decided that he was going to take the role of my financial adviser.  He told me that I needed to start being more careful with my money.  Seriously? Buying an twinkie and an overpriced slice of pizza everyday for lunch does not fall under the category of financial responsibility?  Hey now, my business of blogging keeps me exceptionally busy and leaves me with no time to spare.  I don't have time to shop for groceries.  I don't even know how to cook.  Dad, what kind of a financial adviser are you?  What do you mean when you refer to this thing you call a savings account?  Financial planning is for stressed out individuals who spend their Friday nights at home with a borrowed board game.  I prefer my carpe diem, live on the wild side, epicurean materialism where I do what I love,  and love what I do and I don't plan on letting any financial advisor shed me of my mentality any time soon.  It is Wednesday night and I am going out and living it up without a care in the world.  If you would listen to the preacher on Sundays, you'd know that you aren't suppose to worry about money anyway, you selfish pig.  Speaking of which, can I borrow ten bucks? 

No money in my pockets.

Between paying tuition, rent, and car insurance, and groceries it can be really tough to manage all of my finances as a college student.   I recently went to a financial adviser online who was really good at helping me identify the best ways for me to save money.  I think that it can be really good for college students, especially those that are putting themselves through school.  I know how stressful it can be to sit down to do financial planning and wonder how you are going to make ends meet.  It can be really discouraging to realize that you are going to have to put school off for another semester because you do not have the money to buy the books.  I have found that putting a portion of every paycheck directly into my savings account instead of keeping it in my checking can help to encourage me to save more.  The financial adviser also recommended to me that I stop buying fast food for lunch everyday and buying groceries with coupons.  I think that with the right financial planning and a habit of responsible , it can be possible to find the money to put yourself through school and pay back all of your loans.  

If I were a rich girl.

If was not a poor college student with no money, I would have a really awesome bathroom.  For one, it would be color coordinated.  Right now, it is an odd/lame combination of flowers and fishes and I cringe every morning when I enter the vicinity.  If I had big money that I could spend on my bathroom, I would put in a really nice vintage shower.  I would have a classic color scheme of black and white and a huge mirror with high, silver light fixtures over the sink.  I think that the vintage shower would add a lot of sophistication to the bathroom.  It would really help the create a feeling of space in the bathroom as well.  I love the oval shower curtain rods that wrap around the vintage shower.  I have also seen some really nice bathrooms that have a clawfoot tub shower kit.  They are beautiful, too. I would want a big window in the bathroom with light, white, fresh curtains and a large vanity counter.  I would have black rugs on the floor that would contrast nicely with the white tile.  When it comes to building my dream house, I would start with the bathroom.    

An Apple a Day...

As winter approaches,  I thought I would throw out some suggestions I got from my ENT doctor in Fair Lawn today.  He recommended that I take certain prevention steps to keep the kids that I babysit from getting sick. He advised that younger children shouldn't be bathed everyday.  This keeps water from getting in their ears too frequently and prevents ear infections.  Another ENT doctor in NYC recommended that I send the kids to school with little hand sanitizers attached to their backpacks.  They should also be taught the importance of washing their hands every time they use the bathroom.  Such things will help to stop the spread of germs and keep you from having to visit an ENT in Brooklyn.  When I was younger, I would always get severe ear infections and once had my ear drum rupture.  It was a terrible experience and my mom always made sure that she consulted our ENT in Queens after that.  Ear infections are very painful and, if left untreated, can lead to hearing defects.  Another prevalent illness during the winter months is strep  throat.  This can keep a kid out of school for several days and is highly contagious.  Everyone and their dog will have it by the end of the week.  Just be careful and make sure the germs don't get spread around.    

Odd Phobia

The other night I went up to my grandparents house for the weekend.  My sweet Granny let me sleep in her favorite guest room that all of the grandkids call the "ocean room."  The wall are blue and there is a queen-sized waterbed.  I was grateful for her hospitality, but in all honesty I was worried about how much sleep I would end up getting because I am secretly afraid of waterbeds.  Every time I attempt to sleep in one, I find myself laying there, afraid to move and wondering what would happen if I accidentally punctured the bed in my sleep.  I have imagined a number of horrific things that could happen.  There is the possibility of the "warm water" effect where I end up peeing the bed or there is the possibility that I could end up drowning in my pillow.  Plus, when I wake up in the middle of the night, I always end up disoriented and unable to get out of the waterbed and I know that I look like a looney in my attempt.  All in all, waterbeds are an odd phobia I have and for that reason, I dread going to Grandma's house.